Friday, April 16, 2010

Being truly alive is something we forget amidst in life..



How life changes. How we let it change us. How it wipes our identity slowly and gradually. How we let it take charge. How we become a different human being altogether. How we become someone we are not. How we keep wondering what happened? How we feel helpless that it’s not the same. How we cry inside our hearts and wish to god he brings back everything we lost. How we promise to him that we won’t let it slip away.

But time never comes back. Does it?

I am seven; I am traveling with my parents and my little brother in our sweet little Maruti 800. I am peeping outside the window, to feel the wind outside. My parents keep warning me. I listen to them for a while, but get tempted to feel the strong wind on my face, while it forcibly closes my eye lashes, makes it difficult to breathe… I still love it. I enjoy it, in its natural form, crude and true. I laugh and laugh more.

I am eight. I am running, playing chor police with my cousins in the courtyard. I never wear chappals. The stones in the yard never hurt my feet. They mud never spoils me. The sweat never bothers me. My mom calls my name, asks to buy some milk from the nearby store. I gladly agree. I wink at my best friend. We start running. It’s a race. Who reaches first and eats a mouthful of raw rice from the gunny bag of the little store with a broken roof is the question. Laughter never leaves our faces.

I am nine. My mom is asking what I am going to wear to the birthday party I am about to go. I announce happily, that I am going to wear the same dress I wore the previous day! My mom shouts back, informs me I could wear the new dress my aunt has brought for me. But I don’t budge. The dress I want to wear is the one I love the most. I don’t care if it’s not dry cleaned. I don’t wonder if anybody would notice me repeating it. I merrily wear it and join the party.

I am 13. I and my friends are returning from our classes. We are hungry. We enter a joint. Buy Wada pav, hog on it. Crack jokes on each other. Tease a few teachers with secret names. Discuss the current gossip in school. What we eat is not the question. We fill our stomach because we are hungry, never forgetting to enjoy every bit of the food and the gossip of course.

Today though I am mature enough to know how to live, I still can’t figure out why I cannot enjoy the wind on my face anymore, why I can never walk without chappals. The stones suddenly are too hurtful. Why I am so careful about what I wear, why I worry so much before eating anything! Do we all lose the true sense of living life to the fullest when we grow up? I guess so.

12 comments:

Nikhil Menon said...

I soo loved this post.. :) In a way,we do lose the fullness in life.But then priorities pick up,with age and life takes a new direction.Those days of carefree life aren't what is expected of us.So,when there is a new direction to be sought,we drift apart.

And we live life with all that we have and try to be full there.. :)

BTW,I moved over to wordpress..Check out in case if ur intersted.. :)

www.madrascentral.wordpress.com

Love,
Nikhil

Aditi..............:) said...

Hey Nikhil,

I am so sorry for being so disconnected with all of you lately....but needed to do it....trying to keep my virtual life away from my personal life....
will surely check your blog .....take care and keep visiting..

Ria said...

Lovely post dear!!and so apt for the moment. Hope to see u more often here.

Aditi..............:) said...

Ria,

Thanks dear :)

neeraj_only said...

you might had easily gone on writing this blog entry into 4 parts....7-8-9-13 ( that i wanted...so less to read... want to read more of you )

oops!! u missed 10-11-12

nicely written as usual. Those moments are always special , we realize later on that we did actually enjoy some moments .

Aditi..............:) said...

Neeraj,

Thanks will try to write more! :)

Shuchi said...

Good one Aditi..
i totally agree with what u are trying to say .. As kids we are in our own world.. very instinctive.. dont bother about the outside world and do what WE want.
and as we grow up we only bother about the other ppl and stop thinking about the small things that bring us joy :)

Aditi said...

Shuchi,

Thanks babe....after a long time I am seeing your comment in my blog... :)

Life is Beautiful said...

Beautifully written ......I can almost picture you in every action described :)

Aditi..............:) said...

Payal,

Thanks sweetie!

Amee said...

FANTASTIC gal... So true!!

I am sure everyone reading this can relate themselves! Yesterday n today :( Yes..truly we have lost tht true sense of living life.. Actually everyday we are missing our yesterday.. I was least bothered what 'PPL' say n think about me but now those ppl have become so imp part of me n my life. I was carefree of eating anything i want n now all i talk is 'Oh..cant eat..its not good for my health.. oh this dress will not fit me...'

But I feel we can try to live again - ROCK ON.. lets re-live what we had left it behind..keeping today in mind.. Difficult but surely possible ..

keep writing :)

Mr Happy said...

i still do some of the thing u mentioned , by the way i am in my 20's , so try doing wat u like, its fun :)