Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Girl.......

Its been really long since I have written something, be it good or bad, convincing to my heart or not, I haven’t sat peacefully and wrote anything. My mind and my heart seldom work together, and only when they do I am able to write a little. My blogs have not been looked after by me, I feel guilty to have ignored them so curtly, but my mind is racing with other priorities which are equally important. My mind wins over my heart nowadays. In the past, my heart never compromised! But now it’s mellowed down. From a hustling and bustling river, it has transformed into a silent spectator. The process has been truly enjoyable but also slightly saddening. So, I thought I should write something about the person I was before; I am sure all the girls who are reading would relate to me joyfully yet with a streak of sorrow! This goes to all of us!!
I used to wake up to my mother’s voice, sometimes she would be complaining over my laziness, most times she would be caring, now I wake with the alarm on me cell phone to see my husband serenely sleeping beside me.
I used to wake up with the thought of what I would wear, which sandal on which dress, now I think of what to cook for our Tiffin, whether there is any vegetable in the fridge and whether there is dough for the fulkas!
I used to merrily get ready for college later office while my mother handed over me my Tiffin! Now I make my own Tiffin, pack it hurriedly, while I notice chores which are still undone!
I reach home with the thoughts of what to make for dinner; I make a cup of tea for myself and sit on the sofa with thoughts about the work lined up. My husband is yet to reach home from office.
I used to come home to talk to my mother about the happenings of the whole day, and also to a cup of hot steaming tea which my mother would hand over to me while I rested on the sofa!
I used to ask her, “Kay aahe aaj jevnat??” (What is the menu for dinner?) Now, I make my own.
From a girl who was a daughter, who was a carefree soul, I have now courteously changed myself into a responsible caring wife. These things are not unpleasant at all because I have Amit who cares and helps. He understands me and so allows me to get bored at times; we eat out when I am tired. On weekends, he makes tea so that I can enjoy it without entering the kitchen; every Saturday we go out for lunch or dinner, he listens to me with interest as I express to him how my day has been. It’s not all that gloomy, but it’s undoubtedly different! I love my life even now, but the girl inside me whines at times. And so, ‘I will keep the girl that I was, alive in me forever, and sinfully let her out sometimes because after all she was the person Amit fell in love with in the first place….isn’t it?