I am the window to his world...

I have been thinking about writing the first post after becoming a mother since a few days. Have deleted two posts already because they did not feel right. They did not have the right words, the right expression to describe this phase, this feeling...finally with this third post I guess I am pretty close to what I want to say.
Since I have brought my little angel home, I have been spending a lot of time in my bedroom....I am busy tending to Evan's needs at all times. Today while making him sleep something struck me like lighting. I was looking outside from the window and it was raining very heavily. The window of my bedroom has been entertaining me, refreshing me and mesmerizing me whenever I have been too tired from the fatigue. This window has been a channel through which I look into the outside world. Its my secret path to think outside the bedroom for a little while, get connected to the world which for the time being is not available to me. While these thoughts were rolling into my mind..I realised that "I am the window to my baby boy's world". He will see what I show him, he will feel what I let him feel...I determine everything that he will be in the future. And it was such an incredible feeling. He is like the softest clay and I have to mould him, also spoil him at times. But surprisingly this thought did not scare me...it gave me immense happiness.
For now he is busy looking at the fan and conversing with the curtains and the tubelight...he now smiles and even laughs at times. As parents we both are enjoying this phase to the fullest!
Evan has given birth to a new "ME" and I cant wait to explore myself as a mother. Sometimes I cant believe that he is all mine! He is and will be the apple of my eye forever! Love you my baby!

On the brim....

As promised to a friend, I am writing this post. I am blank to be honest...maybe I have been on a break for too long to be able to write again!! :)
I have been occupied as I have been experiencing something very unique. Right now I am on the brim of motherhood. I have seen so many of my friends and cousins swirl beautifully in the role of a mother. Now, I am watching myself. I am loving it.
There are hardly any days left now. I will be soon holding my little one in my arms.
I am so much looking forward to the fragrance of Johnson products refreshing my home! Also looking forward to see the transition of my hubby dearest to a dotting father. For now, he is even scared of the thought of holding our baby in his arms, but I am confident that he will be just fine!

My blog will be about a whole new ME from my next post onwards! :)

Old Memories reshuffled today.....

I don’t know how but today the thoughts of my maternal grandparent's old house flickered in my mind....the flicker soon became a peaceful thought...then a flow of memories, every detail lingered in my mind.
My maternal grandparent’s house was in Andheri, Mumbai …in a society of a couple of buildings. It was very special to me because I had never lived in a building ever in my life as a child. The house had pretty big rooms and balcony full of plants which my mama had lovingly maintained! My mother was the eldest of the siblings, so I and my brother were pampered to the core being the first grandchildren! My mama and maushi were always thrilled by our presence, and kept inviting us all the time. I really admire their willingness to play with us even when we were hardly 6 or 7 years old. They had their college and office later, but still they never got bored of us...they never felt that we were troubling them. They used to become 7 years old too...just to have fun with us! We have played some weirdest and craziest games with mama, which of course were invented by him, our laughter would not stop even though our eyes were full of tears and our stomach muscles ached! My granny always and I mean always used to make our favourite breakfast, and we all used to sit together in the living room on the floor and have it. I remember the brown kettle which contained tea for everyone to have twice. Then there used to be stories, magic tricks, antakshari, drawings, paintings, movies....the list will go on! I never remember sitting idle in hat house!
Some details of the house are so much carved in my brain that I will never forget them. The sound of the ceiling fan in the silence of the night, the huge black colour drums in the passage for storing water, the old stone “ragda and varvanta”, the painting of five horses done by my grandfather, the walls hand painted by my mama, the radio played every morning, the water tank right opposite the building with an iron ladder, the bhel puri wala in the evening and the idliwala on his bicycle with that peculiar horn in the morning, the friendly marwari and gujurathi neighbours....everything was special to me more because it was unlike my own house in thane.....Thane was significantly different from Andheri back in those days..
This post is dedicated to that ever exceptional house and my loving family in that house which made my childhood memories truly memorable!

Discover yourself !

I was sick for a couple of days ….some cold and a little fever…the usual! I had taken an off and was home wrapped in my favourite stole cum quilt my father has gifted me. The day was pretty much boring due to my shabby looking appearance and also the cold which was troubling me. The house was in a huge mess because my maid has quit and I did not have the energy to do anything by myself. That was one more thing which was depressing me! I was watching surfing the channels on the television without any clue of what I really wanted to watch….after some time I lost interest in the television too and an idea lit my mind. I realized that I had real good treasure in my house which I had ignored for a while now. Amit had gifted me a drawing book, colours, pencils, brushes, etc. on the first Valentines Day after marriage and I had been putting painting off for a while now. I never prioritized it actually and that’s why the book was never used! Shame on me! I opened it all and decided to paint. But this motivation of painting was planted in me by a dear friend some days ago. So it had been on my mind for a while…I just had to make myself do it. I cleared the dining table. And arranged all the things I would need on it. I downloaded a nice landscape image and used it as a reference. The next two hours of my life were bliss! I enjoyed every minute of it. I was so much engrossed in it and was doing it with my whole heart….the result was pretty satisfying (it was least expected!) I was rejuvenated.
I was literally pleased with myself and really thankful to my friend I mentioned about earlier. (She is one amazing artist herself)


(My Painting)

Just wanted to write about it and spread the message to everyone….do something you really love doing…which is long forgotten….something you always desired …but never prioritized ….before this year ends……welcome this new year with a zest to keep doing something you think you have forgotten…only till you do it once more…and discover yourself all over again..

Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day.

Tomorrow is our third marriage anniversary and I thought to myself that there has to be a post about it in my label called “My marriage stories”.
Well, after five years of courtship and three years of marriage I have surely learnt a lot of things.

I had certain expectations from a married life which I had derived from movies I had seen, couples I had observed and immature imagination at times.
But then I realized that romance is a relative term. It cannot be the same in everyone’s life.
It lies where you never thought you would find it. One has to try and look at the right place to see it. I found mine in daily chores that take place in my life. Things that we do for each other every single day make my life romantic. Amit unknowingly taught me this secret of life.

He helps me in the kitchen so that I am not burdened with lot of work.

He religiously makes tea every weekend, so that I enjoy a perfect holiday morning.

He never fails to keep a stock of the soap I use.

He makes sure I always have enough money in my wallet because he knows I am absent minded.

He always accompanies me for grocery shopping every month and never lets me hold the grocery bags because they are heavy.

He drops me to my office whenever I am bored to ride the scooty.

He never frowns to pick up a few things I ask him to bring home while returning from office.

He is supportive of everything I want to do in life.

These things are most romantic to me because they make me happy and relaxed. After marriage one should always try to find out their own way of being romantic rather than building up unrealistic expectations. I took time to learn it myself but I am glad I did. Of course there are sour days with the sweet ones. But if they weren’t, there would have been no fun!

I LOST MY CELL ..... YET AGAIN!

I am feeling terrible today. I lost my cell phone for the 4th time in a span of about 8 years. Its my carelessness and nothing else that is to be blamed. I feel a phobia to buy a new cell again. I am so damn scared that I might lose it again!
The very first time, I lost it in an autorikshaw. The second time I lost two cells while traveling in a bus, someone flicked it from my purse! I might have left the side zip open. The fourth cell I lost it last night at Dominos, Sion. I called them but they say that they did not find any cell phone while cleaning the table.

Guys I need your help here!! Please suggest me three things.

1. How to gather courage to buy a new cell?

2. What should be my strategy in buying a new cell?? Should I buy a cheap one so that I don’t feel a financial loss if I lose it again OR should I buy a good cell so that I value it a lot and be utmost careful about it!
3. Innovative ways of using a cell so that I can minimize the chances of forgetting it. My brother just suggested that I should attach it to my bag or hang it around my neck.

I feel awful and extremely foolish for being so careless and lost in my own thoughts that I become totally unaware of the things around me. When Amit is with me he takes care and carries my mobile if I forget. Well, I cannot expect him to be with me all the time!!!!
Ahhhaannn….I feel yuck! I feel so bad…..!!!

Help!!Help!!Help!!

P.S. My colleague just called and told me that even she lost her cell for the fourth time last week. Am smiling just a little bit. Just a little.

Friends

When I declared to my mom that Amit had proposed to me, I was merely 19 years old. My closeness to parents surprises Amit till date. So you can imagine what Amit must have been through when I informed him that my parents knew he had proposed. I of course didn’t say the big “Yes” word to him after my parents consent. I said it because I wanted to. It’s just that I wanted them to be part of this big decision of my life. They told me only one thing. Think very seriously before taking any decision because it is going to shape your life.
Amit on the other hand had proposed to me with a feeling which meant, “I like her a lot right now, we will see how it goes!” but I interpreted it like this, “I love you so much! You are the one I would want to marry someday?”
He was very angry and upset because I had been very stupid to have told it to my parents according to him. I apologized and told him that it’s okay….and he stared at me in disbelief!
Well, to add to this drama, we friends had planned to meet like we always did. Most times it used to be my house. Because my house was centrally located, with a big courtyard and a swing which was everyone’s favourite! But this time was hugely different than other times. Amit was not ready to come; he was too embarrassed to face my parents. He was still mad at me, but I refused to understand the gravity of it which stuck in his mind. The friends as usual wanted to have some fun, so even they insisted that we meet at my place! No one was supporting him…poor guy!
Finally the day arrived; I had insisted that my mom treat Amit like any other friend and not address him specially. She had agreed. Even she knew at some level that we both were pretty young to hold a responsibility on our head. My friends came, Amit was suppose to reach a little late due to his class and he hated it even more because he knew he would be stared at, laughed at, teased when he showed up alone and not in a group!
While we chatted, the door bell rang; I had warned everyone not to embarrass him. When I opened the door he was standing very cutely with a sack on his shoulders and a forced smile on his face. I smiled back and stepped aside as he entered. My mother wasn’t in the room to his fortune. He sat on the sofa and everyone burst out laughing. He joined in somehow without much choice. I gave him some water and he became a little comfortable. My mom was busy in the kitchen making snacks for everyone. When she came out to serve she purposely did not acknowledge Amit separately. Amit was relieved. As she offered everyone, Amit told her that he had already ate something an hour back and he wasn’t hungry. So she took the plate back in the kitchen. That’s when everyone began bullying him. They shouted in togetherness, “Aunty, let him eat with us. You have to serve him. Hum log nahi bhi khayein toh chalega, he has to eat….isn’t it.!!” Aunty aap bolo usko toh khaega woh!”
My mother joined in the fun. She brought the plate out with a little more than everyone else in one plate and handed over to Amit. He obviously had no option but to take it. As he did, everyone shouted again! “Dekha aunty, abhi toh aapki har baat manega, hone wala damaad jo hai!!”
At that point everyone laughed till their stomach ached. To my surprise Amit joined in. He was not embarrassed to face my mother anymore! That’s when I thanked my friends in my heart secretly. I also knew that come what may Amit & I are going to be friends forever!