Tit bits of the elusive past

I wear my blue salwar kameez and look in the mirror, it‘s gift from my grandfather…though bed ridden wants to gift me something for my new acquired job….he hands over money to me and tells me, buy some nice dress for you. I say no need dada….but he insists…also informs, that if it costs more…he will give the rest happily, its just that he is not aware of the recent rates…I never tell him about it….but I buy a blue salwar kameez…not very expensive but beautiful…I show him, his eyes light up….after a year….he passes away….but that dress I wear with love for him in my heart…..it can never replace anything I buy…

I write…..I cook…I blog….I think of ideas for a business…I dream….i miss aaji…..my maternal granny….she tells me a story of a girl….i am 7 years old and i listen ........a story of a girl who looks pretty….she is smart and witty….she has a business of her own…has a chauffeur driven car……she walks on high heels….with a smart business suit …..talks with an unmatched command yet dignified respect for all in her voice……and then I ask her …who is she?….she opens up with a bright smile and exclaims….she is your future aduli……and I laugh naughtily….I already know it…I have heard the story a million times…..she dreams for me…..so I dream for myself…..I am trying to match up to her dream….though very far….attainable for sure…..I want to do it…not for me….for her….someday I will…..I will…and she will smile from heaven….show me a thumps up….

I am in fruit shop on greams road….sipping my juice…..I think of my dad…..I narrate to amit….my dad used to feed me the juice, do you know how…..he used to suck the juice and let it remain in the straw…then drop in my pouted mouth….isn’t that hard work…..only dads can be so caring…..I call him with moist eyes….he is in mumbai.......even though i feel like...... i cant meet him often.....I tell him I missed him while having my juice…he laughs from the other end…..chuckles and says I remember adu…more strongly than you do darling… he promises me he will visit me soon....

I am alone in my house….my husbands busy…..I am nervous for no reason…just a little sad …cant figure out why...maybe I am missing my aai…I think of aai…..one day I sat like that…a long time ago….she came to me and told me….I am not only your mother sonu….I am your friend too….I did not believe her ……she told me her stories….of her crushes…of her teenage….of her marriage ……of her joys …of her strength…..I now believe her….I tell her my stories…with no fear at all….she embraces me….holds me close…..doesn’t judge me at all…..she is my best friend even now…..I don’t call her….because she will call me…she will know what I am thinking…..telepathy works between us……the phone rings…..