Discover yourself !

I was sick for a couple of days ….some cold and a little fever…the usual! I had taken an off and was home wrapped in my favourite stole cum quilt my father has gifted me. The day was pretty much boring due to my shabby looking appearance and also the cold which was troubling me. The house was in a huge mess because my maid has quit and I did not have the energy to do anything by myself. That was one more thing which was depressing me! I was watching surfing the channels on the television without any clue of what I really wanted to watch….after some time I lost interest in the television too and an idea lit my mind. I realized that I had real good treasure in my house which I had ignored for a while now. Amit had gifted me a drawing book, colours, pencils, brushes, etc. on the first Valentines Day after marriage and I had been putting painting off for a while now. I never prioritized it actually and that’s why the book was never used! Shame on me! I opened it all and decided to paint. But this motivation of painting was planted in me by a dear friend some days ago. So it had been on my mind for a while…I just had to make myself do it. I cleared the dining table. And arranged all the things I would need on it. I downloaded a nice landscape image and used it as a reference. The next two hours of my life were bliss! I enjoyed every minute of it. I was so much engrossed in it and was doing it with my whole heart….the result was pretty satisfying (it was least expected!) I was rejuvenated.
I was literally pleased with myself and really thankful to my friend I mentioned about earlier. (She is one amazing artist herself)


(My Painting)

Just wanted to write about it and spread the message to everyone….do something you really love doing…which is long forgotten….something you always desired …but never prioritized ….before this year ends……welcome this new year with a zest to keep doing something you think you have forgotten…only till you do it once more…and discover yourself all over again..

Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day.

Tomorrow is our third marriage anniversary and I thought to myself that there has to be a post about it in my label called “My marriage stories”.
Well, after five years of courtship and three years of marriage I have surely learnt a lot of things.

I had certain expectations from a married life which I had derived from movies I had seen, couples I had observed and immature imagination at times.
But then I realized that romance is a relative term. It cannot be the same in everyone’s life.
It lies where you never thought you would find it. One has to try and look at the right place to see it. I found mine in daily chores that take place in my life. Things that we do for each other every single day make my life romantic. Amit unknowingly taught me this secret of life.

He helps me in the kitchen so that I am not burdened with lot of work.

He religiously makes tea every weekend, so that I enjoy a perfect holiday morning.

He never fails to keep a stock of the soap I use.

He makes sure I always have enough money in my wallet because he knows I am absent minded.

He always accompanies me for grocery shopping every month and never lets me hold the grocery bags because they are heavy.

He drops me to my office whenever I am bored to ride the scooty.

He never frowns to pick up a few things I ask him to bring home while returning from office.

He is supportive of everything I want to do in life.

These things are most romantic to me because they make me happy and relaxed. After marriage one should always try to find out their own way of being romantic rather than building up unrealistic expectations. I took time to learn it myself but I am glad I did. Of course there are sour days with the sweet ones. But if they weren’t, there would have been no fun!

I LOST MY CELL ..... YET AGAIN!

I am feeling terrible today. I lost my cell phone for the 4th time in a span of about 8 years. Its my carelessness and nothing else that is to be blamed. I feel a phobia to buy a new cell again. I am so damn scared that I might lose it again!
The very first time, I lost it in an autorikshaw. The second time I lost two cells while traveling in a bus, someone flicked it from my purse! I might have left the side zip open. The fourth cell I lost it last night at Dominos, Sion. I called them but they say that they did not find any cell phone while cleaning the table.

Guys I need your help here!! Please suggest me three things.

1. How to gather courage to buy a new cell?

2. What should be my strategy in buying a new cell?? Should I buy a cheap one so that I don’t feel a financial loss if I lose it again OR should I buy a good cell so that I value it a lot and be utmost careful about it!
3. Innovative ways of using a cell so that I can minimize the chances of forgetting it. My brother just suggested that I should attach it to my bag or hang it around my neck.

I feel awful and extremely foolish for being so careless and lost in my own thoughts that I become totally unaware of the things around me. When Amit is with me he takes care and carries my mobile if I forget. Well, I cannot expect him to be with me all the time!!!!
Ahhhaannn….I feel yuck! I feel so bad…..!!!

Help!!Help!!Help!!

P.S. My colleague just called and told me that even she lost her cell for the fourth time last week. Am smiling just a little bit. Just a little.

Friends

When I declared to my mom that Amit had proposed to me, I was merely 19 years old. My closeness to parents surprises Amit till date. So you can imagine what Amit must have been through when I informed him that my parents knew he had proposed. I of course didn’t say the big “Yes” word to him after my parents consent. I said it because I wanted to. It’s just that I wanted them to be part of this big decision of my life. They told me only one thing. Think very seriously before taking any decision because it is going to shape your life.
Amit on the other hand had proposed to me with a feeling which meant, “I like her a lot right now, we will see how it goes!” but I interpreted it like this, “I love you so much! You are the one I would want to marry someday?”
He was very angry and upset because I had been very stupid to have told it to my parents according to him. I apologized and told him that it’s okay….and he stared at me in disbelief!
Well, to add to this drama, we friends had planned to meet like we always did. Most times it used to be my house. Because my house was centrally located, with a big courtyard and a swing which was everyone’s favourite! But this time was hugely different than other times. Amit was not ready to come; he was too embarrassed to face my parents. He was still mad at me, but I refused to understand the gravity of it which stuck in his mind. The friends as usual wanted to have some fun, so even they insisted that we meet at my place! No one was supporting him…poor guy!
Finally the day arrived; I had insisted that my mom treat Amit like any other friend and not address him specially. She had agreed. Even she knew at some level that we both were pretty young to hold a responsibility on our head. My friends came, Amit was suppose to reach a little late due to his class and he hated it even more because he knew he would be stared at, laughed at, teased when he showed up alone and not in a group!
While we chatted, the door bell rang; I had warned everyone not to embarrass him. When I opened the door he was standing very cutely with a sack on his shoulders and a forced smile on his face. I smiled back and stepped aside as he entered. My mother wasn’t in the room to his fortune. He sat on the sofa and everyone burst out laughing. He joined in somehow without much choice. I gave him some water and he became a little comfortable. My mom was busy in the kitchen making snacks for everyone. When she came out to serve she purposely did not acknowledge Amit separately. Amit was relieved. As she offered everyone, Amit told her that he had already ate something an hour back and he wasn’t hungry. So she took the plate back in the kitchen. That’s when everyone began bullying him. They shouted in togetherness, “Aunty, let him eat with us. You have to serve him. Hum log nahi bhi khayein toh chalega, he has to eat….isn’t it.!!” Aunty aap bolo usko toh khaega woh!”
My mother joined in the fun. She brought the plate out with a little more than everyone else in one plate and handed over to Amit. He obviously had no option but to take it. As he did, everyone shouted again! “Dekha aunty, abhi toh aapki har baat manega, hone wala damaad jo hai!!”
At that point everyone laughed till their stomach ached. To my surprise Amit joined in. He was not embarrassed to face my mother anymore! That’s when I thanked my friends in my heart secretly. I also knew that come what may Amit & I are going to be friends forever!

Nostalgia Knocks...

Chennai to me will always be special, more special than any other place in the world. I realize it today. I opened my eyes to the city when Amit took me there after marriage. It was awful to be all alone without any family or friends for a month or so. But later I started enjoying the city so much.

We had an open to sky balcony, big enough to fit in four neelkamal chairs. Around 7 pm we both would return from office and have tea in the balcony, that’s exactly when we used to watch the bats fly all in one direction. We would keep wondering where they went every single day. After dinner, most times we found ourselves in the balcony again. The balcony time taught us to enjoy the calmness of the night and also the darkness of it. The twinkling stars were a scene to watch! I don’t know how but we found more time for each other, for the chit chat sessions, for the laughter and innumerable cups of tea …somehow in Mumbai that becomes rare.

One more place special to me was Grand Sweets. It was 10 steps away from our home, we used to go there in the evenings to have the delicious sambar and vadai & Horlicks Mysore Paak….I remember the dry leaf plates (eco-friendly) and how we used to be the first two beings to ask for a spoon while eating, everyone else dipped their fingers and relished. I kind of tried it once but preferred otherwise!

The Beasant Nagar beach was 15 minutes away too, we used to head to visit it on our bike. I crave now for the bike ride with Amit. Just today I smsed him saying that we should borrow bike from my brother on a Sunday! Our little I 10 is a savior in its own way but at times you only want a crude life. That’s when bike comes to your rescue. Anyway, the road which led to the beach was so beautiful…trees all along the road…and no traffic at all. We used to eat the bhutta, it used to be so hard to eat, but it never bothered us. While he roasted the bhuta , the wind used to hover over the flames forcing them to fly in one direction …a sight it used to be!

Then there was The Dhaba Express, a hotel we visited often. They served yummy north Indian food. I ate a garam garam fried jalebi for desert there every single time. I remember the taste of the crispy jalebi even today. We took everyone there whenever they visited us. It was all so much fun!

I have told Amit, that I want to visit Chennai once again whenever we get the chance, maybe for a couple of days. Go to all those places again….feel the nostalgia! Those were the best days of our married life …I don’t want them to slip away from my mind.

My Marriage Stories - The egg shell breaks!

I am going to write funny and emotional incidences of my marriage in a label on my blog called “My Marriage Stories”. The first post from the label is here for you all to read!

When Amit & I started courting, I had immediately informed my family about it because I was very sure that he was the one I was going to marry. But in Amit’s case he had not even given any hint to his, for unknown reasons (known to him) Finally after a year of persuasion I convinced him to enlighten his parents about us. By then he was very well acquainted with my family but I wasn’t to his. So when he finally told his parents, my mom (my dad use to be in Dubai then) and I were invited to their home for the official first meeting!
That’s when this funny incident took place. Our household believes in using new crockery every one or maximum two (in extremely rare cases) years. Because it either breaks or we lose it. But mostly it breaks. And we are pretty much fine with that! At least we get to use what would otherwise be saved for some special occasion which is almost hypothetical!
When we arrived at Amit’s house, Amit’s mom and granny welcomed us. Amit stood behind smiling mischievously. I winked at him and he froze. We all began talking generally about topics which weren’t even remotely related to us, but that’s what happens when families in such situations meet for the first time. After a while of chatting, his mom brought us snacks and lemonade. We thanked for the delicious food, we insisted that they also have it with us. But his mom said that they would have it later. Amit agreed to have it with us. Then an awkward silence suddenly replaced the chitchat, so my mom breaking the silence smilingly said, “Wonderful Glasses, so delicate!?” My mother in- law beamed as if it was the most favourite topic to be brought up! She exclaimed, “These were gifted to me by my Mama in my wedding!” Amit’s granny joined in, “And these dishes are thirty three years old!” My mom and I looked at each other with total amazement and shock. I all of a sudden realized I was the most unsuited daughter in law for them. I gulped. My mom replied, “Hats off to you both, really commendable! They are really beautiful” I chose not to say anything. I was utterly speechless. After I had finished my food, I asked Amit the way to the hand wash and got up. I proceeded toward the basin to wash my hands and just then my to be (or not to be) mother in-law screamed, “Oh ….my glasses!!” I looked behind to see my dupatta (heavy due to the embroidery work on it) on the brim of the two glasses. They obviously could have broken due to my carelessness! But thankfully they didn’t and I managed to pull of my dupatta successfully! But my mother in law almost had a minor heart attack. She had been preserving her glasses for so many years and I come in one day, introduce myself to be her daughter in law and leave, after breaking then!!
To my disbelief she still accepted me. Amit and I got married three years ago after courting for almost 5 years.

Wake Up!!

I always end up thinking about the missing ingredient which will bring magic to my life. Make it more alive. Today while chatting with a friend I realized that it is nothing but sheer lack of dedication and determination in my life. I have become very lazy and lethargic and I need to change that. I crib about my chubby face, I complain about my stomach flab, I get irritated about my headache, but never do anything about it.
At some point in time I do feel motivated and enthusiastic but then it’s too short-lived to even talk about.

I give up on myself too soon. I leave it half way too often. It’s high time I give myself a punch and make myself aware that life has more to offer than I am taking from it.

I need to target a goal now, as it is rightly said in the movie “Lakshya”, there has to be a goal in life, otherwise you drift away, you drift apart from everything.
I have decided that I will not complain about things that are not in my hand; I will do my thing and relax.

I have to give my life what it deserves if I am demanding from it. I have to take efforts if I want to look gorgeous. I have to start if I want it to begin. I have to smile if I want to be happy. I have to be disciplined if I want to enjoy.

Here’s a post to the new “me”. I will take charge of my life now. I am going to start loving myself like never before. I want to fall in love again, with myself. Because I am worth it!